A moment of translucency

Posted on by In mind and out

In dreams and fantasies
the sea drapes her lace
in gossamer traces through your fingertips
her depths translucent
like this lingerie she wears,
at the lushness of her wild
and delicate
edges
It’s where she finally
greets the sand, with secrets
of her seaweed hands
she whispers foamy sighs
of relief
as she glides to you
she finds your eyes
and there’s this knowing,
this understanding of the shore
before she is taken
by the inevitability
of the tide
and she must retreat
into the darkness of her depths again

114 thoughts on “A moment of translucency”

  1. Beautiful “It’s where she finally
greets the sand, with secrets
of her seaweed hands
she whispers foamy sighs
of relief” very lovely imagery. I love the ocean and her secrets. Just beautiful! Love 💕 Joni

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  2. Hola Rachel,

    This was a sensual piece as captivating as the sea; and as powerful as the moon’s gravitational pull on the tides. You captured us with the delicious promise of dream, fantasies, and lace. You gave us the lingerie and lushness, the beauty and the mystery.
    Finally, delivering the foamy sighs and relief.

    Everything about this exotic piece was alluring; the gentleness, the hold your breath tease, before the heart breaking separation. For the pull of the tides has her leaving one’s trembling arms, wishing and draming of an encore.

    You know how I am so attracted to the sea. She more than any woman, has been the most faithful and inspiring to me. Her attraction has always gripped me. Always will.

    Much like this poem, I am enchanted by her power and your words.
    This is one of my favorite poems of 2020.
    It not only reached out to me, it caressed my soul.

    Bravo.

    El Vagabondo

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    1. El vagabondo. One beach bum to another. This comment has me emotional – one of your favourite poems this year? And this from one of my favourite authors. Sigh. You know the ways of the sea well, and you read the depths of this poem perfectly. I think you have a knack of listening to the sea’s secrets.

      I will say, I could have done with some of your finesse with the ending. It probably needed some more work, it felt clumsy and rushed.

      Appreciate this more than you know. Thank you, so much ❤️

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  3. Makes me long for the sea and its shore. I am too far inland but you brought me there and also into a deeper part of my own psyche. You are a truly gifted writer when you make someone feel from reading. Be safe dear friend.

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  5. Wow, Rachel! Believe me when I say this gave me the shivers! That was so sensual and erotic and mysterious and dark—I wanted to follow her back into her mysterious depths! Even now, I can feel phantom fingertips tracing paths on my arms..so well done 😍

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    1. Honestly Larisa, I think you deserve a prize for the most beautiful and poetic comments. You are the epitome of elegance and grace and I feel so lucky when you bestow that on my writing. You are one of those people that poetry is second nature, you don’t even need to try. I could make a poem out of you and your comments and it would require no editing. Thank you, sweet friend 💕

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      1. Ahhhhh Rachel, you gorgeous woman. How do I adore the many ways in which you shine, let me count the ways..that was such a beautiful and sweet comment to read, it was like honey on my soul. Thank you for that, truly. I look up to you forever and always ♥️

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      7. I wanted to say so much more but didn’t want to overstep my boundaries because you were so polite and classy in your response. I am always more than happy to stand shoulder to shoulder with you in whatever we are facing off against 💗

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      8. You could not have overstepped any boundaries. And same goes. I know you’ve had your fair share of creepers and I wish I’d been present to get out my metaphoric bow and arrow and slay them 🏹💜

        Liked by 1 person

  6. “she finds your eyes and there is this knowing this understanding of the shore” in the reading I could feel the waves, the tide and the look of being pulled back out to sea.
    As Tara says above “Gorgeous.” That other dimension where the words are waiting just beyond the moment you are witnessing.

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    1. Thank you so much, it means a lot you felt the connection to the sea and the tides. I love this, you should put it in a poem: “That other dimension where the words are waiting just beyond the moment you are witnessing.”

      That’s gorgeous. Thank you!

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      1. Thank you for the suggestion of the line in a poem.

        In your poetry I recognize that place where the magic happens, the place you can’t conjure up but comes to visit briefly and you have to drop everything and gently find the words to envelop it.
        I was trying to describe that misty place when I wrote the line. I will wait to see if something comes to wrap around it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sorry I missed this comment.

        I love how you are describing the indescribable, I know exactly the place you are talking about, and I am so so honoured that you think my poetry captures that. For about a year now, I have been trying to find words for the look of the sea from afar when the moonlight is shining on it, and it has this ….. appearance that’s silken, glossy, like some kind of alive fabric. I’ve been trying to enter that dimension where I meet with the waiting words for this… but I just cannot. Sometimes I feel like the words to describe things are swirling, diffuse in the air, waiting to be collected. Almost tangible. If you’re lucky, you manage to catch them. But often, they remain elusive. This conversation with you is an example of catching some words in exactly this way. I love it!!! I so hope you write a poem from it, you have me inspired too! Thank you, sweet friend, this had been a great start to my morning. ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  7. “the sea drapes her lace
    in gossamer traces through your fingertips” so elegant yet powerful and sensual… Your words reminds of the captivating effect that the sea has on the senses…i don’t know what I yearn for more…. The feel, the sight or the sounds, even that too salty hit and briny seaweedy smell…i miss it all.

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    1. Ahhh – you miss the sea?? So you are too far from it or can’t go there because of lockdown? The longing for the sea… I understand that entirely.

      Thank you for such wonderful comments about the poem too. I hope you get that salty hit and briny seaweed smell soon!

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  11. Love the waterful imagery. Everything just flows, and rumbles in with waves of darkness and depth. I can sense the currents of poetry, as clear and reflective as the sea itself, glittering and glimmering like your neon imagination.

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  14. Never have I ever read a more exquisite, beautiful description of the ebb and flow of the tides. You created very alluring images with lace, lingerie, lushness, gossamer and delicate edges. Sigh! Now I know why my husband goes rushing back in her arms.
    This is so, so gorgeous, Rachel.
    The gentleness of it so moving! ❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Punam, you are so gorgeous and generous with your praise. This was inspired by a walk along the beach on a stormy day, where the foam along the sand was so lace-like and beautiful, and it really did seem like that moment where sea touches sand was a fleeting but beautiful greeting or caress. Both of the pictures I included are from my walk that day (but digitally altered).

      How is it you are so kind to me i will never know. I’ve just read a couple of your beautiful poems, and I’m still smiling from them.
      ❤️❤️❤️

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      1. Rachel, I can’t help myself…words gush forth when I read your words. The sea is gorgeous on stormy days from ashore. You captured its beauty so well!
        The pictures are beautiful too. In fact I have never mentioned it before but I always marvel at your selection of photos to go with your words.
        I am not kind, just honest. Your words reflect your beautiful soul. You know your smile is gorgeous. Keep smiling. ❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Stealing my heart again my friend 💘…such beautiful ebb and flow and chiaroscuro imagery. And wow I have to say that Watt’s comment was perfect… such a gorgeous complement to your poem’s beauty.
    Hugs to you dear R. xoxoxo

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  18. It’s like being hypnotized by the Sirens of the Sea, the oceans lovely song can pull one in. What a beautiful description lovely of the visual effect it has on one as the fingering waves come back and forth to tide the relation between land and water. Gorgeous!🌹

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  20. I read this poem so many times. It’s filled with rich, sensual imagery and I loved the extended metaphor of the elusive lover being the sea which reaches the dreamer, and gives them moments of lucidity with foamy sighs of relief. Still I guess the whole experience is only translucent because it takes place in fantasy, and like anything else that does vanishes quickly into the unconscious. I hope my interpretation isn’t wrong. I enjoy reading your poems Rachel.

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    1. Your interpretation is spot on…that moment of showing one’s true self can be so momentary, but so…. intensely intimate when it does. The moment when the depths of our needs and unconscious and ourselves is translucent to another. I like what you said about it being translucent because it takes place in fantasy. The fantasy of the dreamy shore for its elusive lover the sea. I think it could take place in reality too, but it is so fleeting, like if you blinked you might miss it. You have made me think of this with more depth. Thank you, you have a very keen and astute eye.

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      1. Thank you Rachel. I’m no expert, but some poems really draw me in. Yes I understand shedding off the mask and being completely vulnerable. It’s especially beautiful when the other person does the same at that very moment. Such experiences are very intimate and fleeting like you put it. Rare in fantasy and rarer in life.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Agreed, so rare….. which is a shame. But when it happens, that feeling of connection can take your breath. It’s hard to feel alone in a moment like that. It’s kind of the antithesis of loneliness.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. I felt the sensual and erotic tone. And also the sea of her mysterious and dark depths that only one can bring her to a light of hope and understanding of the world around us. 🙂

    I did my best to interpret your marvelous creation of poetic music and heart. 🙂 My favorite poem of yours among others. 🙂

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  22. Oh, Rachel…. This is beyond beautiful. I want to be buried in your beautiful words. I want to go to sleep while listening to your words. I want a blanket made of your words. What a majestic poem.

    “It’s where she finally
    greets the sand, with secrets
    of her seaweed hands
    she whispers foamy sighs
    of relief
    as she glides to you”

    I actually can’t pick a line. Everything is pure beauty. Everything is silk. Even the pain. The pain slowly subsides into the beauty of the sea.

    Rachael, you are the poetess of my soul. Every word you write blesses the reader.

    Sending you plenty of love, flowers, and chocolates. What else can I send you Rachel?

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    1. Dear G, it is this comment that is beyond beautiful ”Everything is silk. Even the pain. The pain slowly subsides into the beauty of the sea.”
      I am speechless about this. For surely this is what your poetry does. It is what your poetry does. In fact I could easily copy and parts every word of this and meant every one as applied to you and your poetry.

      What else can you send me? You send me so much already, I would not wish to be greedy. I just wish you to be happy and loved xoxoxo

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      1. WOW! WP notified me that you replied. There is no conspiracy against us anymore. I wasn’t notified that you posted and surely I am happy I was notified you replied.

        “Everything is silk. Even the pain. The pain slowly subsides into the beauty of the sea.” No, this is not what my poetry does Rachel. This is what yours does. This is you and your beautiful soul. This is you and your unbelievable talent.
        “I just wish you to be happy and loved” Thank you so much Rachel. I wish you to be happy and loved every minute. To stay inspired and to inspire us. You are fabulous. I am not getting tired of saying that.
        xoxoxoxoxo…..

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I knew WP would have to give up on us eventually. It was a futile battle and they were never going to win.

        Thank you for being you G, you make me feel like a million stars. And you feed me chocolate and send me flowers and bestow me with beautiful poetry and friendship.

        Love to you ♥️

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Oh dear Rachel!! Most lovely all lines they take me at sea shore and i feel that all waves want to talk with me , Especially”it is where she finally greet the sand to her seaweed hands,she whispers foamy sighs to relief…..
    …..”and “before she is taken from inevitability by the tide,she must retreat into the darkness of her depth again”.absolutely right and gorgeous imagery of lovely truth-an eternal truth.most beautifully written ,my dear Rachel.most impressive and heart touching💕💕💕💕 love your poem.xxxx

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  26. It’s where she finally
    greets the sand, with secrets
    of her seaweed hands

    This isn’t just a line or a verse…. It’s clearly a motion. Or something I imagine the waves may whisper to one another….

    Great one!!

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    1. Hey, thank you so much friend, you have really added something to this, I love what you’ve said – a motion, or something the waves whisper. That is beautiful. I’m so touched you saw this in the poem.

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  27. Oh my, Rachel, this piece is simply stunning and so delicate. You have such precision in every piece you write. It is masterful and so inspiring 🙌 I absolutely adore the concept of the alluring sea and also love to write about the beauty she is wearing!

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  34. This has a wonderful sense of mystery to it. From seaweed hands to the sea lacing her, each line is so delicate and beautifully crafted. There’s an aura of vivid romance and the gentle personification accentuates the overall subtle euphoria that the poem gave me. There are so many ways of interpreting the poem but the overall sense of magic that surrounds it does not let it get you over it. And that is such a good thing. So what I take back from this poem is not that wonderful writing style, nor the intriguing word choices, because in the end it’s the feeling that matters. I tip my hat to you Rachel. Really lovely.

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Published by In mind and out

I write from the corner of the world and from the corners of my mind. I'm Rachel, it was in my mind, and now it's out.