All’s well that ends well (a collaboration)

Over time, real time, life has segmented me in sides and faces with very vague definitions.  I sense that there are things about me that are routinely yet obscurely fed to a vending machine which gives me newer passions, different interests in return. Maybe I can trace it back to “when” but “why” is draped in nights when I lay awake with a dream in mind, and the next morning seems to blur it into a background that slowly fades into wallpaper that needs to be torn down because it’s just not as pretty anymore.

The ‘why’ is so much harder than the ‘when,’ but December raises the downy hair of yesterday on the back of my neck. No embrace for the girl of that calendar month, just a sigh of resignation and despair that rustles all the other pages of the calendar. My eyes see a whole year of good intentions and failed dreams that cling so desperately to that wall and under my skin. It’s like the realisation that last New Year’s hope was just an impulsive mistake and I forgot to make any brightened resolutions.

And it becomes an yearly abstraction, a push that plummets fractions, breezeblocks, out of an otherwise linear tower of reality. I look back at the lost pieces, and with what may be an illusion of growth, smile. That ache seems so small, unimportant, and what I have now seems okay for a minute. Maybe longer. Depends on the length of the song I listen to, and the longevity of the setting sun.

I can only say it in a whisper but this year has magnified the aches that have lingered for a lifetime. There’s a desperation in looking for the missing pieces in the fading colours of the sunset. In the hungry chaos of noisy gulls, I try to collect my crowded thoughts into groups of words that might ease my chapped lips and pour my coffee in the morning. I string them into necklaces and charms made of sentences – poems of moonless Septembers and melancholy Sundays. That way I can at least look at tomorrow without shielding my eyes.

There is something about words strung together in a sensible philosophy. Its incomparable to have had times in your life that sharpens its blunt edges and cuts into parts of you, refreshes everything somehow, and becomes strange to look at. Like gawking at your reflection on the mirror plated wall of a hair salon, while the barber keeps trimming your hair in a really bad way but all you can do is investigate your face and strike your eyes with a gaze they obviously meet. Just to realize, that it’s all there what needs to be, what isn’t, will grow back with more original strands and fibres. There’s always a road to walk towards everywhere, and since ‘all roads lead to Rome’, why does anybody worry.

As we nudge December I look at the ocean and ask it this question.  Sometimes my catastrophic mind is too primed to see the tragedy in a gust of wind, to tread water when I need to swim more purposefully to my metaphoric Rome.  The sea answers me in soothing syllables of its rolling tides, calmly led by sing-song directions from the moon. And there I see that maybe there is a path for me, that I am connected by gossamer threads to possibilities I have always longed for but never thought I’d find.  Love, even. I just need to dive in and let the wind swallow up my caution and taste the salty water of the dawn.

The sea has all the answers, it’s like a friend for all seasons. It’s funny to think that whatever is marked by anything doesn’t make sense to anything except the candle and the lighter, or the sea and the rocks it washes away from the shoreline. So, we ramble on and gamble with our hearts, and tear pages, anatomies away from old chapters and our memories become a collage of these broken bones. So, in our search for love and happiness, we see too many disappointment and aches but to not linger on them would be best. At least, that’s what I think.

So maybe as the clock ticks this time, we should linger in that place where soft lanterns and gentle hands light and guide the darkened alleys of our hearts. Maybe it’s in that dim but shimmered glow that we find a stillness and a beauty.  A calm within our storms where there is no pitch black or bright white and there is an infinite wave of connections between all of us. Because surely, it seems that this is where we should linger, in that place where the paths lead us to each other.

By Watt and myself.

Always an honor to write with Watt.

Happy new year to all of you, I hope that this new decade brings all that you would hope for.

Also, I am behind in my reading… I will be catching up as soon as I can. I look forward to it.

63 thoughts on “All’s well that ends well (a collaboration)

  1. Melancholy, yet hopeful. Thought provoking, yet a sense of aimlessness. These two lines hit me.
    1) There’s a desperation in looking for the missing pieces in the fading colours of the sunset.

    2) … we should linger in that place where soft lanterns and gentle hands light and guide the darkened alleys of our hearts.

    Maybe because I’m currently in deep thought about missing pieces while longing for soft and gentle to light my heart.

    Happy New Year, Rachel … and Walt! All the best for your 2020.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Frank. I’m really humbled you have selected out those excerpts. I hope soft and gentle does light your heart. Often New Years is a time of reflection, and that can be both hopeful and melancholy. I get that sense from you, and I’m also aware of what you’ve said about finishing up with blogging soon..

      Happy new year to you too Frank, it’s been such a pleasure to read your work and have you read mind. Wishing you and your family all the best.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. “That we may fall in love every time we open our eyes “ – Ivor!! Thank you for sharing this, goodness it’s so beautiful, bought tears to my eyes. Happy new year dear friend 💜❤️

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    1. Nina, what can I say, yes, all paths lead to each other… it feels like such a comforting sentiment. So pleased one of my paths led me to you, happy new year dear friend 💓🌺💓🌺💓🌺

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      1. Yes. Me too. Wishing you all the happiness and blessings and hope for a beautiful new year. I’m looking forward to more collaborations with you and Watt!💖
        PS. How is your heart today?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “…No embrace for the girl of that calendar month, just a sigh of resignation and despair that rustles all the other pages of the calendar. My eyes see a whole year of good intentions and failed dreams…It’s like the realisation that last New Year’s hope was just an impulsive mistake…”

    There, you’ve captured the feeling of the new year’s precipice perfectly. I was feeling exactly all that around 18:00 yesterday. Thankfully, was feeling more like your last paragraph by morning. :))

    I also had a good smile at the part about the hair salon, yes, too many times this has happened!!

    This, also, I particularly relate to:
    “Sometimes my catastrophic mind is too primed to see the tragedy in a gust of wind, to tread water when I need to swim more purposefully to my metaphoric Rome.” Indeed, I think; time to keep my head down and arms moving. Stop staring where tornados may form.

    But the last line was the best: “Because surely, it seems that this is where we should linger, in that place where the paths lead us to each other.” So true, and beautifully said.

    I love the way you two collaborate, it’s my favourite kind of synergy to see around WP. Well done Rachel and Watt. Happy new year. ❤️ xo n

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nadine, you have no idea how happy it is that this resonated so much with your New Years experience – this time of year I think is such a time of reflection, and I think it brings a certain hopefulness combined with a certain panic or despair. And the hair salon, brilliantly Watt’s, I know that feeling so well too! Here’s to those connections though huh, because that’s where we can usually find much of what we are looking for. And I’m so glad to have found you. Happy new year to you too, lovely Nadine ❤️ xoxox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I kind of thought it was Watt’s 👌😊 You each certainly have your own very recognizable style. 😊
        Thanks for this lovely reply, Rachel, and yes, finding you was definitely one of the lotuses for me, a true gift in the past year ❤️
        Bloom on, dear friend 🌷☀️💛

        Liked by 1 person

  3. My dearest Rachel, you guys rock. This piece is memorable. It has the mark of a masterpiece. It ripped my soul. It put it back. It ripped it again. As I wrote on Watt’s blog it will stay with me forever. I don’t know what else to say. I am lost in its majesty.
    xoxoxoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This response G, it sounds quite visceral, I hope the end result was a well repaired heart and soul 😉. You are so amazingly kind, thank you so much, my amazing friend, and happy new year 🥳 xoxoxo

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  4. Such an inspiring piece to start the new year on! I so want to linger in the truth of these words. Thank you both for sharing, and Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh wow, what an absolutely gorgeous piece of writing! I know I am reading something truly special when I feel myself getting swept away, almost swallowed whole and completely absorbed by the lines, when they touch on something deep within and make me pause and stop thinking for a while. The mind just stops thinking for short moments in most of us but isn´t it glorious when it does! Loved the juxtaposition between love and (mind´s) doubts and questions here, this is honestly a masterpiece!! Amazing! And love the conclusion, I could not agree more. The web of connections and love is what it´s all about! Also, Rachel, I saw your gorgeous post on the Maori word for community (or something along those lines), loved that as well! Sending you love and hugs from Spain, may you have a fantastic year 2020 of being-love 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahhh this comment feels like a warm hug and has brightened my day – all the way from Spain! I’m so humbled that the message in this touched you, it is the connections with others that keep me going… in all ways. The Maori word is whanuangatanga – such a beautiful word, and it conveys a spiritual and metaphysical connection and sense of belonging. For Maori connections to ancestors and to land are super important too.

      May you have a beautiful year too gorgeous Gypsy at heart xoxox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So happy you hear my hug-in-words arrived hehe 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing that word with me again, I was wondering which one it was – I love that word, it sounds so rich and meaningful from what you are describing here. I believe a lot of what ails us lies in having forgotten the universal Truths that Indigenous people like the Maori live and teach… and that healthy connections and healthy relating is crucial to our wellbeing… Love how they honor ancestors and land, just like the Indigenous Austrialans, and all the wise Indigenous tribes around the world… Thanks for your lovely wishes dear Rachel xoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      2. And thank you! You know, I don’t believe I know your name?? I’m sure I should my little gypsy heart. I could not agree more about how we have forgotten those universal truths – connections, belonging, community. Those things that get forgotten about in our individualistic cultures… it is the heart of so many of today’s issues. Thank you for such thoughtful words! Xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oopsie 😀 Think I might have gotten very comfy with my gypsy-name hehe. My “other” name is Maria Elena! 🙂 Yes, a sense of belonging is so important. And yes, so important also to find a balance between community and developing one´s own path and individuality. No man/ woman is an island right. Hugs and enjoy your day lovely xoxo

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      1. No need to catch up ESP. When WordPress becomes a chore it’s really not worth it! I have actually been writing much less lately, and on WP much less. For lots of reasons. But, I do love touching base with people and reading their work, so I won’t be giving it up yet! Feels a privilege to see you back

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      2. Never a chore to read your posts, you forget I am one of your many fans 😀

        Where are you writing if not on WP? Are you publishing books, do send the links.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Brilliant collab Rachel. I obviously missed this during my little hiatus. So, happy G posted it today. You and Walt composed a wonderful piece. May lines left me thinking. especiall then why and when. It is the why which often leaves us devoid of feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Exquisite work truly beautiful words, phrases, thoughts and lovely writing created by two talented individuals. Glad Gabriela turned me on to this post. Love and blessings. Joni. 💕❤️😘

    Like

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