Unravel

Posted on by In mind and out

hold me
as i pirouette
my secrets in your palms
around my waist

let me
be your dream Odette
as I unravel and unlace
from this chiffon

that binds me
like a swan that can’t escape
this lake of tears
on which I dance

in endless turns
i find the falls in which I fear
are from your grace
are to your arms

Featured artwork: Watercolour by Laura Row Link here

77 thoughts on “Unravel”

  4. Dance, Desire, Dream… Such a beautiful piece, my dearest Rachel.
    “like a swan that can’t escape
    this lake of tears
    on which I dance”
    This is sublime. I want to be the lake on which you dance.
    Rachel, honestly, this is beyond beautiful. It deeply touches my heart

    Dance, Desire, Dream
    xoxo

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  5. I hope one day you will publish your writings in print because I want to hold them in a book open to this page—close to my heart—while I close my eyes (smiling) and drift off to a nap with these images still lingering…
    💘💘💘

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    1. How do you manage to melt my heart like this my friend? Seriously! You know what sometimes I dream about, it’s not putting my words into a book, but hearing them spoken aloud by you. This is not a hint, I promise. It is simply a compliment to you because the way you bring words to life with your spoken voice is incredible 🙏💜💓💓

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      1. Ok, well now you just made me all teary eyed. 🤗 Rachel, your words—the way you express your longing—which is so powerfully feminine—gives me goosebumps and such strong visuals “painter of words” you truly have a precious gift.
        I am honored by your compliment. Sincerely and seriously. And I would love love love 🥰 to read your poetry aloud for a recording. Really. That would be super fun! Hint hint. If there is one you have in mind…we could try it. I am totally open to it…and actually kind of excited at the thought. 💗🙃💘

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Ohhhh!!! I didn’t think you would actually want to! Now I am nervous I wouldn’t have a poem that would warrant it…. but, i will try and put that aside because if you did want to that would be amazing!!! I have a few poems that I tried to make a bit lyrical, I’d have to look, but I wonder about ‘a night full of subtleties?’. I would be honoured! 💓💓💓

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Aww. Yes, nervousness aside—I’m the one who should be nervous! Ooh-“night full of subtleties” would be be fun to read—one of my favorites. If you send me the link…
        Thank you for believing in me, Rachel, and for the opportunity. I’m excited!
        💓💓💓

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Yes yes!! You remembered I read this one aloud to my husband! I love the image here of the gentleness, the longing….the moonlight. Ahhh….ok, I’ll take this to the studio and practice. I’m goosebumps all over…and so happy to see Watt return too. Thank you, Rachel as I too am honored…and delighted.

        Xoxo received and given😘

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Hi Rachel! I’m just putting on the final touches. Question—how would you like me to credit you? This was super fun for me, again thank you. I hope it puts a smile on your face! 💓😊💓
        PS. Read the news this morning about the volcano erupting. Wow. A hard lesson learned for the tourists. 🙏🏻. I hope all is well for you.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Hey!! You can choose to credit or not credit me in any way you like – my only request is that I know that you’ve done it so I can listen to it ❤️. Im still in disbelief you have done it! Thank you 😊🥰. As for the volcano… it’s an unbelievable tragedy. So sad 😞.

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      10. Ok good…I’ll have it up soon. 💓
        This is a fun exercise for me. Very different to read another’s words. An honor, really. You are welcome—I hope you are pleased with it!
        Are you getting any ash from the volcano where you are? Incredible force of nature creation/destruction. I wonder if they will still allow tours in the future.
        Ok, I’ll send you a link as soon as I post. 😊💘

        Liked by 1 person

      13. A night full of subtleties is a masterpiece no doubt. And this is incredibly tender and beautiful too. Mind blowing, and stunning. Even the velvety mood of the read. wow.

        Liked by 3 people

  9. “let me
    be your dream Odette
    as I unravel and unlace
    from this chiffon”

    Just beautiful, Rachel; ballerina skeins floating in fantasy… the poem reads like dark swirl of incense smoke; compelling…

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Oh!!! “dark swirl of incense smoke” – I could not hope for a better description of this… i hoped it to be read in a way that combined lightness and darkness. And you have added this liquid mysteriousness to it. Thank you, that’s brilliant! Xoxo

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  14. You are my dream Odette and this poem is a masterpiece, Rachel. I could listen to this for eternity.

    It has an innocence on the surface but just beneath it is so…. so sensual.

    An aching, in abstentia. It gives me fever dreams of tulle and swan feathers being torn away from pale flesh and then billowing to the stage floor where two lovers collapse together and consummate long simmering attractions beneath the stage lights.

    Just breathtaking.

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    1. April, this comment… has taken my breath away, because you are so unbelievably correct, this poem, is full of desire. This description that you give, well, it just further fuels the fire on which this fantasy is based on. I want to quote your final paragraph of that comment and hold it to my heart. I looked in the mirror and I saw my twin soul looking back at me, fingers to the glass, seeing my soul and my intentions as I wrote.. it’s like a kiss on the wrist in the rain (quoting you again). What can I do but sigh…. let’s be swans, both black and white ones, Odette and Odile both 🦢🖤

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      1. Every morning
        before the birds start
        trilling me their stories,
        I give birth to a new love
        through my same old heart
        when a lake’s placidity
        finds life in the swans breath
        Only for you…

        From the poem ‘Only For You’ by
        Munia Khan, To Evince the Blue

        Liked by 1 person

      3. 🔥☔️ Ps. I emailed you a day or two ago because I worried about you with all the news about a volcano erupting. How dorky is that. But I think this event was on a smallish island that hopefully you are far away from and you remain my twin flame in metaphor and not in the literal sense.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You are too gorgeous!! I had missed your email. I remain a metaphoric flame. I’m so touched you worried.. I have been a bit all over the place these days…. I’ve got a post of yours still to read and I can’t wait to get to it! Xoxox

        Liked by 1 person

      6. April!!! Could I adore you more??? I think, absolutely not. You are seriously a shining star in my life. I want to waltz into your living room, and lie down on your couch like I’ve known you forever 😂 ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  15. How did I miss this?! Ethereal and sublime. The spinning is like a raging fever. But the palms on the waist made me swoon. With brevity you have created such grandeur.

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  16. How beautiful… and everything everyone has said… plus that rhyming again that I really love.

    And my gosh, we were just reading about the volcano eruption and the earthquake… hope no loved ones have been affected?

    Liked by 1 person

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      1. It’s just so shocking…I am relieved to hear your loved ones are okay!

        Oh nothing you don’t deserve! And more! I am often at a loss for words quite frankly, and it helps that other bloggers can leave such great comments! haha 💚❤

        Like

    1. Larissa!!!! You have just made my heart sing to see you pop up here! You have been very much missed, and I have fretted for my gorgeous ebony and crows. And missed her beautiful writing. I send you love and hugs dear friend ❤️💜❤️💜

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  20. Really beautiful “that binds me
like a swan that can’t escape
this lake of tears
on which I dance”. This is a beautiful metaphorical piece. Have a blessed weekend. Love 💕 Joni

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Ahhh thank you so much! I’m happy you saw the metaphors in this. It was inspired by seeing a performance of swan lake, but the meaning of the poem itself is dear to my heart. Thank you dear friend 💕

      Liked by 1 person

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Published by In mind and out

I write from the corner of the world and from the corners of my mind. I'm Rachel, it was in my mind, and now it's out.