A box of your words

Posted on by In mind and out

I found, a faded dusty box.
Inside I found, not faded memories
but those shining as bright as a neon lamp
that I saw yesterday
Suggesting I go in

I opened the box.
And longing for a broken dream jumped out and sat on my heart
like an unexpected jack in the box
given life and lodging in a new home

Inside the box were your words.
I took your words out of the box
and I traveled
in and out of weeks, until the years collapsed
I touched your name like you once touched me
like my every freckle was a masterpiece

I held your words in my hands.
And read each word you wrote me hungrily,
like I was starving
I devoured your words again
and again
Until the paper was torn and covered with bite marks

In your words
I saw myself as you saw me,
a glittering reflection like the sky in the wet sand
I saw you how I remembered you
like the other half of my soul

Now, I try to close the box.
It will not close
I look for our footprints in the sand,
but somehow they disappeared
I look at the stars and I hope in that single moment,
you are too.

I still wait by my letter box

…

dedicated to FBMB

Alt J: Every other freckle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJiyw4s3vmU&feature=share


and if this seems familiar, it may be. This is one of my first-ever poems, but the original post has disappeared…

79 thoughts on “A box of your words”

  2. This is so beautiful and so touching my dearest R. It has a haunting quality about.
    A wait: for something that it was and probably will never be again. Silence, pain, beauty. Words that lasted as long as footsteps in the sand.
    I am speechless. Oh, your talent…
    Xoxo 😘

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. I am speechless! Oh your praise!! Goodness G, you know how to make my evening. As for this poem, you are spot on. There is a story behind this poem, and it was beautiful one, if only it wasn’t filled with so many ‘if onlys’. Xoxo

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      Reply

      4. I am so sorry to hear that…. it’s such a horrible place to be suspended. You don’t even really drink coffee do you? That is what gets me through those times… Extra hugs for you today G, and I hope for enough quiet in your heart and mind for sleep to come a little more easily tonight.. 😴 🌸💜💜

        Liked by 1 person

      1. It is strange about boxes of memories…the happy memories fetch a smile which is gone in a flash but the painful ones etch each nuance of the hurtful times on the heart once again! If it is not very painful, I would love you to write more about it. I have often noticed, putting it in black and white seems to lessen its intensity.
        You are so welcome, my dear. ❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, it is. Sometimes it seems life can just be one grief after another. But I always have hope in seeing the bigger tapestry at some point.

        And you are welcome, any time! I say, keep writing about it if it helps! 💚💚

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I really like freckles, they’re like geographical markers of a person, miniature maps of their lives. For this reason, I nearly posted a song that went with this line. Maybe I’ll post the link…

      Thank you, your comment is gorgeous. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. Such longing and bitter sweet memories . That feeling of revisiting the past. You really captured it so sweetly and innocently, in a way. No darkness just a beautiful monochrome memory.
    Really felt the love that lingers.

    Glad you brought this to life again.

    I loved this part:

    I touched your name like you once touched me
    like my every freckle was a masterpiece

    That is such a gorgeous way to describe someone’s love on you.

    Many of these
    💜💜💜💋

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Ahhh Fiery, you see all the emotion that is not here, and you are right. This kind of love felt so perfect, loved on, loved in, loved within… You understand this.
      I appreciate those hearts and kisses, suddenly I feel emotional.
      Sending them right back 💜💜💜💋

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Sensed all of that. Very clearly. You expressed it so subtly but it was whispering right there.

        It sound like a beautiful love

        Emotional is beautiful, embrace it and smile always

        Xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Rachel. Absolutely stunning. I started getting chills at “I took your words out of the box /
    and I traveled / in and out of weeks, until the years collapsed” and they kept cooling my veins from there. An invisible half made real for a moment in time, and refusing to move fully into the past. The documenting of which helps the visible, remaining half become whole, and moving forward. Footsteps erased because subsumed and everlasting, no longer necessary. A fire is in order. “Love is a burning thing.” Turning to ash the old letterboxes, making space for new. Hugs

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Nadine!! Thank you for this beautiful and thoughtful comment. You saw the heart of this. How do you shift an invisible half to the past?? Perhaps you have to let go of regrets, of what ifs. Perhaps you need to have a fire like you say. But I could never… I hoard memories, pretty sure it’s official…
      Gosh, I really am so touched by this understanding. I was already feeling emotional and this is just the icing on an emotional cake. Tears in your frosting anyone? 😢💛 🎂 .
      Thank you. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. ❤️❤️❤️ It’s funny. I’m a hoarder of memories too. And it’s tricky knowing what to part with. But once, a very long time ago, when I was a determined, never-wanting-to-marry serial-monogamist, I came across a book in a second-hand shop called “Get Married Now! The Definitive Guide to Finding and Marrying the Right Mate for You.” Of course, I bought it immediately. 😆 It was to be a joke-gift for my best friend who loved all things fifties-style-kitsch. 👗🤡 But I started reading it on the bus home, and couldn’t stop…

        This crazy book said that to have a truly valuable relationship, you should decide in advance what would be the most important characteristics of that other person, and make a list of them. Wow! What a concept! After really thinking it through, and having just come from a very painful experience, I decided “honesty” would be at the top of my list, followed by “loyal.” (Strange, no? rather than say “tall, dark, handsome and brooding”? lol). “Intelligent,” “makes me laugh”… and so on. Then, it said to make room for that special person in your life.

        Goodbye photographs of me and old boyfriends; goodbye shoeboxes filled with poetry from old boyfriends. Then there were a bunch of other actions to complete.

        Long story short(-ish), less than one year later, against all self-confirmed-bachelorette odds, I was getting married to a tall-dark-handsome (ok, my subconscious wouldn’t let that one go) *non-*brooding guy who is pretty much the most honest and loyal guy I know. (Well, besides maybe my dad. ;))

        Oh dear. This comment turned out longer than I’d planned! 😅📖 But your beautiful poem made me remember burning all that poetry and all those photos. (Side note: The reason I could justify burning Other People’s Poetry is because I knew the OP’s had made carbon copies. We all did this back then. Ancient paper technology ;)).

        Sometimes, sometimes, I do wish I could look back on all those praising words… including odes to freckles 😍🐆😄…especially since one thing I forgot to put on that list (perhaps deliberately?) was “worships the ground I walk on” ;)) … and life is never perfect … but I ultimately I believe I’ve exchanged all that for something with more value. “My better half,” as it were. 😉

        Ok, although this is cray-cray long I’m going to hit “Send.” 🤓🤷🏼‍♀️ xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nadine, sharing this with me has affected me on a deep level…. I need to take some of this advice, you are right, there is some active letting go required… did you have an actual fire??? It sounds like you have ended up in such a beautiful relationship. I’m officially inspired . Thank you, my gorgeous friend 💜💜

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Um, brought tears to my eyes. Thank YOU, gorgeous friend. I don’t think the actual fire matters much. It could be shred, sink to the bottom of a river in a burlap sack, whatever. The main thing was the idea of permanently ridding yourself of the old memories holding you back, to make space for the new ones you wish to create. Sending so much love and thanks. You’ve made my day. ❤️

        Like

  9. Nadine!! Thank you for this beautiful and thoughtful comment. You saw the heart of this. How do you shift an invisible half to the past?? Perhaps you have to let go of regrets, of what ifs. Perhaps you need to have a fire like you say. But I could never… I hoard memories, pretty sure it’s official…

    Gosh, I really am so touched by this understanding. I was already feeling emotional and this is just the icing on an emotional cake. Tears in your frosting anyone? 😢💛 🎂 .

    Thank you. 💜

    Like

    Reply

  12. This “seemed familiar” but not because I had read it previously. As others have said you perfectly describe the longing and loss for the ‘magical other’ the heartbreak we all eventually experience that you so beautifully put in to a few precious words. The heartbreak that eventually leads us back to the love that was evoked by the ‘other’ the love that was awoken in pleasure, refined in pain and finally given back to you as your heart and words given back to the world in such perfect pain and beauty.
    This is perfection Rachel.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Wow, this is such a gorgeous comment, and I am reveling in your kind praise.
      “love that was awoken in pleasure, refined in pain and finally given back to you as your heart” – so beautiful and profound, thank you 🙏

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    1. Wow!! That is an amazing way to look at it!!! I hadn’t seen this, but I cannot tell you how awesome this interpretation is… yes, discovering a part of ourselves that is no longer, experiencing a yearning for that person, hoping that they will re-emerge. That is so beautiful, you have added another dimension to this poem. Thank you 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  17. Sublime, with a little bit of nostalgia. I believe this one was one of your best, with those emerald words which combine to make chains of love and poetry. Maybe I am saying that again, but once again your writing has left me speechless. Just so beautiful and heartfelt.

    Liked by 2 people

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  18. This is beautiful, one cannot help but feel the longing, and the love, and the optimism that comes with these. Every stanza is so delectably constructed, but what caught my eyes and transported me to another time was ‘ I saw myself as you saw me,
    a glittering reflection like the sky in the wet sand’

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. I saw myself as you saw me

    This piece was wonderful. But that line resonated. She not only longed for him and these feelings, but she also longed for the way she felt and the way he saw her as well.
    Beautifu;l writing Rachel

    Sorry, I am so late Rachel. Life happens. So, happy I haven’t missed this.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you Andrew. I think, yes, she longed for him, as well as the way he made her feel. When someone loves you like that, for who you are, sees you as even more than you think you can be, it is… immense. And then when it ends, the longing is… immense, in equal measure.

      On another note, I hope the poor vagabond and injured poet is recovering well. It sounds really nasty… hopefully it lends itself nicely to lying on a beach, writing, cocktails, etc – generally taking it easy.

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      Reply

  23. So desperately beautiful, without a single word overused or meaningless. Perhaps only the stars have a clue of how perfectly could you mimic; so uniquely but with a touch of familiarity, so beautifully yet with a rawness so great it could steal and transport hearts; the beauty, memories, nostalgia and love of life. Excellent poem.

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Published by In mind and out

I write from the corner of the world and from the corners of my mind. I'm Rachel, it was in my mind, and now it's out.