even in this crowded room
it was the type of gaze that filled the air
between them,
it swerved the corners of reality
with tangibility –
he felt it’s whispers wrap the shoulders of his fears
and write a message in the atmosphere
for him to see
the invitation that she
painted there,
in silken threads of space
that she pulled and interlaced with gravity,
electricity,
a reveal of fortune-cookie
destiny,
until it was a gaze he had to meet
Image: Yayoi Kusama – Infinity mirrored room; A dot in the universe, Gleaming lights of the souls
The gaze – the look of the first encounter. You’ve made me wonder about the next part of the story.
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Ahh Frank. Maybe Iβm not writing these things in order. Or maybe there is no order, or no rhyme or reason!
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I like the order – just wondering what’s next.
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I wonder too….! Thank you Frank.
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Very nice!
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Thank you. So pleased you enjoyed it!
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Wow.
You have NO IDEA how much this beauty resonated with me, honey.
I loved every word you weaved (wove? Surely it’s wove? Can’t be arsed to Google it. Damn my grammar is slipping lol)
I wrote a little scene once very similar to this. I’ll see if I can remember the title lol and send you a link!
But enough about me.
So I adored the part that begins with “even” and ends with “meet”. So the whole thing basically.
One of my faves of yours, hands down
π₯π₯π
(Promise I’ll catch up with anything I’ve missed of yours)
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You are too lovely. Perhaps I have read the poem you are talking about and liked it so much I accidentally slipped it into my unconscious?? Iβm sure that must happen sometimes. Anyway, please send me the link, would love to read it. So happy you enjoyed this, nothing like the Fiery stamp of approval π₯πππ
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Unless you’ve been scouring my blog for really old posts, I doubt it lol. But I love the thought!
I’ll send it in a mo. Hope you enjoy it
Xx
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https://silentlysmoulderingwords.wordpress.com/2018/05/17/she-was-his-from-this-moment/
π
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If that is what dipping into your archives is like, then, this is what I will be doing… Fiery, yes, both started with a gaze, but where mine ended, yours continued in a delicious blaze of love and passion. It makes me wish my little story had kept going π. Thank you for sharing this!! πβ€οΈ
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Haha! You’re so funny hunny.
Very very happy you liked this.
π₯π₯π₯π₯π
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such depth and beauty, of a moment, about a gaze, loved it
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Thank you ESP. A gaze can hold and communicate. So much.
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now I know, thanks to you π
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Ha! Iβm sure you canβt credit me with that!
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π
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One little moment woven so beautifully into an entire poem! Now that’s what I call talent!! Extremely good. π
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What a lovely thing to say. Thank you, so much π
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Beautiful and very poetic how you describe how her gaze draws him in!
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Thank you so much Marieka. Sometimes a gaze truly feels like it has a substance.
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Indeed. Youβre welcome! π
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Magical…
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Thank you, a gaze truly can be magical I think, and thatβs what I tried to convey.
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I agree with Fiery, a truly Romantic piece xx
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with gorgeous and vibrant imagery like these lines here that I like very much:
“the invitation that she painted there,
in silken threads of space
that she pulled and interlaced with gravity,
electricity,”
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Yes Marta, I thoroughly enjoyed her piece xx
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Thank you again Ivor!
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Kind words from you as always Marta. Thank you so much!
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Always my pleasure to read you.
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And mine to be read by you.
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So very kind of you to say Ivor, itβs nice to write a bit of romance sometimes β€οΈ
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So very kind of you to say Ivor. It is nice to write a little romance sometimes β€οΈ
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I just slipped by the comments here. No need to look, because I know what they say. As always a wonderfully intuitive write. Beautifully penned. β€πΌ
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Jen!!! You are so kind to me!! Thank you so much, always πΈβ€οΈπΈ
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πΈβ€πΈ
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Once again your language and imagery is stunning! Reading this poem truly feels like looking at a painted night sky.
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Thank you! I really was trying to create a sense of the ethereal substance a gaze can create with all it conveys. So it means a lot that this is that effect it had on you.
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You’re welcome! I’d say you definitely succeeded.
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Beautiful words ….β€οΈ
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Thank you, so much β€οΈ
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Wonderful imagery, Rachel! You bring it alive with your words. Sigh… β€οΈβ€οΈ
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Awww a sigh from you! I will gladly take that β€οΈβ€οΈ
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You know how it happens…such beauty leaves one awestruck! You are welcome, my dear! β€οΈβ€οΈ
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These lines are gold:
“he felt itβs whispers wrap the shoulders of his fears
and write a message in the atmosphere
for him to see”
The gaze of the encounter and the sense of fear one communicates within the atmosphere for anyone to see. Brilliantly well penned my friend. π
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I agree. Those lines and the rest of the poem is blessed with a beautiful glaze of intense poetry
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A glaze of a gaze …. thank you Watt. I tried to infuse this with a little of the surreal and give substance to something intangible but so meaningful.
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Amen! brother. π
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Thank you Charlie, sometimes I wish our eyes could actually talk. They can say so much that our words often canβt. π
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Agree. Eyes have a way of speaking for us without us having not say anything at all. It’s the expressions of one’s mood that answers all.
You welcome.
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Thank you again
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π
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This is lovely, Rachel. Sparks.
πππ
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You saw sparks?! Perfect, mission accomplished πβ‘οΈβ‘οΈπ₯
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Saw sparks felt sparksβelectricity in the gaze. Love it! β¨ππ«
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The eyes is the gateway to the soul and this poem is the roadmap of explanation to that. One glance, one gaze is all it takes and that will shape ones story sometimes. This was a powerful tale of him having to see if that was the case, a tale of fate. This was wonderful.πΉ
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I love what you saw in this poem. You are so right, eyes are the gateway to the soul, and we can lose and find ourselves in someoneβs eyes, you can feel so many things without even a touch or a word. A gaze can shape your fate, definitely.??
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Oops added accidental question marks and pressed send before I finished properly, which was to say, thank you, so much. πΈ
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Very true, the eyes can tell the whole story just like the heart can. You penned this perfectly.πΉ
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Thank you again!!! πΈ
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So very welcome πΉ
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that gaze from that certain person can melt and mess with my head! I am afraid to linger, he could read my soul. oh this was so romantic, like falling in love with a distant star.
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You know, you have the makings of a story here.
Have you ever thought about writing a poem story? A friend of mine, the Author and play director of Sam’s Story: Dylan Martinsen, wrote the whole book in a series of short poems (which is funny because on the show he’s the first to make fun of poets). I feel like you could really do something like that because with poetry as beautiful as yours in a novel I know I would be hooked on every page trying to find the meaning of every everything.
Also the protagonist of this poem reminds me of every time I scoped the high school dance floor for an invitation that would never come.
Apparently you have to be fun and actually dance before girls and boys would want to dance with you… who knew?
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I responded to this at length but not as a reply, please see below!!! I do this all the time!
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A poem story….. starting with a gaze. I actually really like this idea, and probably have some poems that would fit it already!!!
As for your highschool dance floor days… I can bet there was a someone who was sending you that gaze but you didn’t realise!!! Those days…. I don’t know whether to remember with a cringe or a sentimental sigh… Full of intensity both good and bad!
Thank you for this Alexabswr. You truly have made my day today by leaving me such beautiful and inspiring comments on several of my posts. I probably have said before, but it’s like receiving a beautiful gift. Thank you, and happy everything, I mean really, everything, happy.
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Honestly I canβt believe I missed so many of your posts! Iβm glad to have a new schedule that keeps me looking around on at least one day a week.
I really think you should try it- it would ba a fantastic read!
Hah, whatβs back then is best left back then- too much cringe for sure!
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This is absolutely breathtaking, R! A gaze can be a powerful thing and can be the start of something magical. Love this!
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Thank you hon!! Yes it can! ππ
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“the invitation that she painted there,
in silken threads of space
that she pulled and interlaced with gravity,
electricity,
a fortune-cookie destiny,
until it was a gaze he had to meet”
And there was no missed opportunity. This one really got me, Rachel. I loved it.
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This is high praise Rob. I guess there could be missed opportunity, if she didnβt paint the picture clearly enough for him to see, or if he doubted the message he was receiving!!?
So glad you liked it.
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Oh, this poem is so superb, my dearest R. Somehow it hurts like most of your poems. Longing, electricity “until it was a gaze he had to meet”
Before he meets her gaze:
“he felt itβs whispers wrap the shoulders of his fears
and write a message in the atmosphere
for him to see
the invitation that she painted there”.
In the sky the fated meeting of two souls. Ah… so beautiful. I really got goosebumps when I read it.
I miss reading you regularly, my dearest R. It will end soon.
Love a hugs to you.
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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For me, your words remind me of the ancient Greek legend
of Soul Mates.
The sense of familiarity mixed with the excitement of discovery
comes thru in their exchange.
In the vast expanse of time, the two dots as unique elements
wandering alone until they stepped thru the fabric of time at
the same moment in ancient Greece visiting Magnesia on the
Maeander.
The poem brought these questions to my mind.
Was this their first meeting or had they been here before
coming in and out of togetherness over the eons?
Are we still traveling to Magnesia or refusing to visit?
Have you as an Author, found the essence that is the
beginning of romance in so many of our life stories?
I think the answer is Yes.
Rosalinda and I have been together for 47 years and
have encountered people who tell us about our journeys
over several time frames and how we are Soul Mates.
My reply often is:
The best part is that we have no memories of our past
lives together. And we are lucky, we still feel like Soul
Mates and never became Cell Mates.
I think I will go and develop a story about Soul Mates.
Thank-you for reminding me about the people who
tagged us Soul Mates.
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This has to be one of the most beautiful comments I have ever received – on many levels. That someone who has been with their soul mate for 47 years is reminded of a Greek legend on soul mates by my poem – well, I could not be more honoured. You write so beautifully, and I will look forward to your story on soul mates. Thank you, so much!
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This is so wonderfully intense!π
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Hi! Thank you for such kind words π
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Such depth in a gaze, I just loved it!
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Ahhh thank you! Absolutely, a gaze truly can communicate so many things.
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This…… just, this. I have to echo the resounding response to this piece. It’s luscious and so well stated. I think we all vividly identify with that sensation, that glance. The line “it swerved the corners of reality” is ripe and furtive. Such a sensual trip. You’re so immensely talented.
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This is a comment that truthfully makes my day and stands out – luscious has to be one of my favourite words so I am very happy about that. Plus, to hear such kind words from someone whose talent I admire so much. Well, day made. Thank you.
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The pleasure is all mine. I honestly read your work daily and sigh at how gorgeous you arrange the words. So the feeling is mutual!
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Gosh, thank you β€οΈ
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Beautiful
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Thank you! So lovely of you to say so.
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Wow! I’ve just received something amazing. πππ
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A gaze?
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A gaze with a lot more…
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Sigh. β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ!!!
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β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ thank you!
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This poetry is so divinely beautiful. It is a moment in time where we can feel that strong connection between ourselves and another. We are pulled together by something we can’t even see, it is more of a strong sense that we feel that draws us towards one another. Impossible to pick a favorite line as they are all so beautifully written and flow so smoothly together. It is difficult to pick a favorite line as always however these lines took my breath.
“It was the type of gaze that filled the air between them,
it swerved the corners of reality with tangibility –
he felt it’s whispers wrap the shoulders of his fears”
Beautifully done Rachel,
Love to you dear friend,
Sending love, Joni
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