A little bit of abandon

Posted on by In mind and out

The octave of my gasp
escaped me, as you undid the clasp
of my self-restraint,
touching me at last,
not fast, enough but deliciously so
an adagio before you
undo the last of your inhibitions
and throw them in the corner
and shed your sensibilities
leave them there
with no caution
please
a little neediness is what i need
just let yourself
be present here with me
and discover every note,
every tone and every colour
in the octaves of this moment

69 thoughts on “A little bit of abandon”

    1. Punam, it makes me very happy that you like this, i think you have said before, how it is difficult sometimes to post things about “this side” of ourselves. But it is also very liberating to do so…. and so far I’m not blushing too many shades of beetroot 😂. Thank you for your incredible support and encouragement. It truly means so much. Love to you my friend. 💜💜

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      1. Wonderful that you find it is liberating and you are not blushing like a beetroot! 😀 I have learned, from many incredible poets I admire here, that writing ‘such poems’ is an art and you have mastered it so well! Always there for you dear friend. ❤️❤️

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  7. Wow, “here with me…in the octaves of this moment” ; an octave of your gasp undoing “the last of your inhibitions” This a gorgeous my dearest R. The metaphors here are magnificent. The imagery is of the soul: feeling and sounds.; sensuality.
    I can hear that unbelievable gasp…
    Have a fabulous rest of the day xox
    G.

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    1. My dear G, how much does this appreciation mean to me?! I may have gasped or sighed a bit when I read this, so perhaps that’s what you can hear…? You are wonderful, and I am constantly amazed that an author of your talent says such lovely things about my writing. I feel lucky. Have a wonderful weekend gorgeous friend xox

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  13. As others have said, the use of music to channel the atmosphere of the moment is executed very well. Something else that catches my eye is the way the poem visualizes abstract concepts like inhibitions and sensibilities by comparing them to shedding clothes, which is perfect because both clothes and inhibitions constitute barriers that prevent the fulfillment of the moment. Very well done!

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    1. David, thank you so much for this – yes, inhibitions are in general such barriers to the fulfillment of a moment … not just intimate moments, but across many different contexts, and the fulfillment of … life, dreams, relationships, goals. Thank you for such an insightful and thoughtful comment.

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      2. Which song would you most choose to listen to on repeat? 😊
        This poem is full of ahh…..and sighs. Really pretty to read aloud. What it would sound like to music…🎼🎹. 💞👩‍🌾

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      3. Ahhh so many choices here…. I listen to a lot of songs on repeat! For this poem in particular? I would like to give this some thought so I can give you a considered answer!!! 🌸💛

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  19. Beautiful. Reeled me in with the musical imagery and hooked me GOOD with the secret sexiness of it all.
    Really really got lost in this one.
    You’re a LOT more talented than you give yourself credit for. Seriously
    Xxx💋

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    1. I am pleased to have hooked you with some music and secret sexiness…. I toned it down a bit as it would have been easy for the sexiness to not be so secret. Not sure why, I love reading your posts where the sexiness dial is turned up high! I think I just blush too easily. Thank you for such high praise, my Fiery goddess xxx 💋

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      1. Haha. You’re welcome. I don’t have a cat, but am considering getting one in the next few years. I do, however, have a pain in the ass, adorable guinea pig named Jasper. He actually looks like Pepe Le Pew – has a white stripe down his nose and a white stripe around his neck, so reminds me of a skunk 🙂

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      2. A pain in the ass guinea pig – love it! I once looked out my window and saw a random stray guinea pig in my garden. I fed it carrots and tried to find its owner, but everyone in my local vicinity denied responsibility! I was in awe, where did this cute little monster come from? He hung around for about a week, and then disappeared… hopefully not courtesy of a cat. I tried to catch him but was unsuccessful!

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    1. Yes, neediness can be painful within yourself and from someone else. Needy is generally painful and something we don’t want to be or receive… Unless it’s mutual need, and even then…

      Gosh, that was a lot of thinking. You’re awesome, your comments are so thoughtful and encouraging. How can I say thank you enough? I can’t really, but thank you.

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      1. “And even then” indeed! Being human is full of things like that, it’s difficult to really be clear about such matters. Yet writers do it as a day job!

        Being able to leave such comments is my joy, I hope they can be helpful in some way, and I’m glad that you seem to enjoy them.

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Published by In mind and out

I write from the corner of the world and from the corners of my mind. I'm Rachel, it was in my mind, and now it's out.