A lament for my lost instrument

Posted on by In mind and out

It’s a pleasing thing to hear my whispers
turned into roars by the ocean,
timid sounds that roll around
seashell necklaces of the mermaids
I beg to magnify the crescendo of the waves
and I crave
the thunderous noise of my fingers
like a pianoforte in the seafoam,
or a screaming storm in a teacup
an effortless whip of peaks –
Instead I join the mournful chorus of the mermaids
and we cry, united in our phantom pains of ghostly limbs
and my lost instrument

Sometimes it’s a pleasing thing
to hear whispers turned into roars.

….

I used to play the piano. i miss it….

Pianoforte: “a dynamic mark (pf) directing the performer to attack the written note at the dynamic level of piano (soft) followed by an immediate increase in volume to forte (loud).”

The heart asks pleasure first by Michael Nyman:

https://open.spotify.com/track/2jxg4D9HONT992DkvKaQ7E?si=0BR0WU1IR2OuKu2GwVOTvA

https://youtu.be/NsQBKr_x-P4

Gif:

http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-photography-sky-landscape-clouds-ocean-sea-storm-scenery-ftsup/31487839572

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102 thoughts on “A lament for my lost instrument”

    1. I would love to but I literally cannot use my left hand well enough to play now… but sometimes I record the right hand part and then play the left hand part with my right hand while I play the recording (if that makes sense).

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      5. Ahh. It’s a lot easier on your pc😉. I had spinal fusion , which caused sensitivity issues with my left hand. I had to re-learn how to play bass and guitar as a result.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. You are most welcome, Rachel. Eyes are getting slowly better—I really did myself in—but I’m back. Thank you for asking. 😊 and thank you for your sweet comments.

        You injured your left hand? I like what you wrote about playing the parts with your right hand. Do you have pain in your left hand?

        Well, what you lost with your instrument-you gained something else. And it’s lovely 🙂
        I like the presentation here with the gif and the music. Super cool! 👍💜

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, I’m pleased you like the music and the gif. Did the link work? It was one of my fave pieces to play. I do kind of feel like writing is my replacement for piano playing so thank you for saying I gained something. I do not have pain in my left hand, altered sensation but not pain. Thanks dear friend. Glad to hear your eyes are better, does wearing glasses prevent the strain?

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Yes the link worked fine. It is a beautiful piece. Quite a love story. I’m glad you don’t have pain in your hand. I can imagine with this poem-a lament-how it must feel to give up something you love,the piano—the mermaids are a beautiful/sad image.

        I may have to think about glasses. Balancing my computer time with outdoor time helps too 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This is superb !

    “my whispers
    turned into roars by the ocean”…
    “we cry, united in our phantom pains of ghostly limbs
    and my lost instrument”

    One of the most beautiful words I’ve ever read. My dear R, you made me fly, you buried me, and now I am lost at sea (the sea of your talent)
    Exquisite!

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  6. This is very well written! I used to play the piano too and I feel very bad for not practising regularly enough to keep going and getting too busy with studies. But every now and then when I get my hands on a keyboard, the feeling is truly magical regarding the melodious possibilities that my hands had the potential of creating.✨thanks for sharing this one!

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    1. Oh!! Yes, that feeling!!! You described it so well… the endless creative, melodious opportunities, the challenge of learning a song, the feeling of magic when it all comes together, the losing yourself in the music while your fingers seem to just know what to do…..

      Thank you so much, I hope you find some opportunities to create that magic.

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  7. One thing I’ve learned about losing parts of my body is that it amplifies something else within us. We discover abilities we never knew we had. R, if the blind can play, if the armless can play, if the deaf can play… so can you, my friend. Those keys can still feel your touch. From one musician to another… do what you have to do to be one with the piano again.

    I absolutely love the heart you put into this poem, my friend. I know you have strength in you. 💚💙

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    1. Manessah B. How can I convey what it means to hear these words from you. This is such an emotional thing for me, for about a million different reasons. Your faith that I can find a way, means so much. It makes me glad to have posted this poem which I had felt was a little raw, a little revealing…. You are so right, I just have to pull myself out of thinking I can’t, and find the way to do it. I will try out the software mentioned by V Pub. I have always just played ‘acoustic’ so have no idea how to apply technology to my music.

      Thank you lovely friend, I really appreciate this. 🧡❤️

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      1. I understand what you mean about raw and revealing. But those are the feelings that produce the most profound writings, I think. You went deep within and pulled out something of meaning to you and that’s admirable, R.

        If you ever need help with the music technology end of things, I would be happy to help you. Once you start recording yourself, it’s like a dream. ☺️

        I believe in you. All is not lost. You’re very welcome, my friend. ❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Rachel, I don’t know how to react to this…I have read this thrice. Every time I begin to write, I feel, my words are so inadequate. To not be able to do something that you love so much can be so frustrating and debilitating. I admire your channeling this into writing.
    It is such an incredibly beautiful piece, it brought tears to my eyes. And it ended just like a piece of music does.
    If sleeplessness leads to this kind of writing, I would very selfishly hope you have a few such nights every now and then.
    This lament, straight from your heart, is a true gem.💖💖💖

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    1. Oh Punam. Honestly, you have bought a tear to my eye now too. I can’t tell you what it means to have you read this more than once.. to say such kind words, to understand so well exactly what I mean… it is you that is the gem. Huge hugs to you my friend ❤️❤️❤️

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      1. I am sorry if I made you cry. I hope one day you will use technology (as suggested by so many) and be able to share one of your pieces. I would love that. Thanks for sharing the link…it was beautiful. (the first link is not working for me)You are a beautiful soul. Hugs to you too. 🤗❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, Absolutely!

        Writing is therapeutic and it’s another artistic outlet. Many musicians shift between mediums and I am sure you will find your groove again.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow, this is quite a compliment. I would say you also have a signature style, and it’s one that I love. Haven’t followed you for long but your poems always stand out to me. Thank you, you’re a bit lovely 😊.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No no, let me assure you that I come with references that place me at “quite a bit more lovely than you think” haha!
        😅
        Wordpress is a little like sifting for pearls …. and in your writing …. I’m finding them!
        Have a splendid day 🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Actually, now that you mention it, I’ve seen some of those references in the comments sections of your poems. Also would be happy to write you a glowing reference myself. So, let me upgrade you, to “a lot lovely” or “loveliest” or “even more lovely than you would imagine.” Better?! 😂

        You have a splendid day too 🧡

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  12. Wow, this is quite a compliment. I would say you also have a signature style, and it’s one that I love. Haven’t followed you for long but your poems always stand out to me. Thank you, you’re a bit lovely 😊.

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  22. I understand this better now. I too used to play the pianoforte. I can of course do it no longer. I grieve, as I know you do. I will email you shortly. If that is ok. A very beautiful but extremely sad poem. Your talent for poetry is amazing.

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    1. Thank you, you have lovely words here for me. I’m glad you like the song !! And no, unfortunately I can’t play anymore, not in the regular way anyway. I am trying to get more technology savvy. Thank you 🧡

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Yes, I have always loved it. And I am so sorry you can’t play the same anymore, that must be quite a grief for you.
        Yes, technology is rather amazing that way, I hope you find something helpful!
        And it’s my pleasure!

        Liked by 1 person

  26. I have no musical talent. I imagine a musician without an instrument is almost like losing a body part. You feel as if there is something missing. It must be a wonderful feeling when instrument and musician are one.

    Gorgeous piece of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. You are so right. That feeling of being lost in sounds created with your own hands, your own body… it is harmony – like a violin and a bow (thanks to you for that one), just… right. Thank you Drew (hope it’s ok to use your name). I appreciate the time you’ve taken to read and comment on this.

      Liked by 1 person

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      2. I wrote a poem recently where I used the phrase “octaves of a gasp” then I had to go to your site to see if I had somehow subconsciously taken that from something I’d read of yours – i couldn’t find anything, but is that something you have used?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Maybe that was what I was thinking of… octave of a gasp, falsetto of a sigh…. I can see how I may have made a link there. I had a feeling it was something that may have come from you, must have been inspired from that poem!

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Sometimes it’s a pleasing thing to hear whispers turn to roars.

    Gods that is magnificient writing. To think of the piano as ocean waves is so absolutely close to the mark that I cannot believe I had never seen it that way before.

    I know this summer is about drawing, but this poem makes me wish I had piano lessons too…

    Keep writing my friend. May the words be your melody.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. May the words be your melody….. WOW, how poetic, supportive, amazing is that. This has entirely made my day. I guess that’s what my words have become, and for you to say that is a gift I will treasure. Thank you, you are wonderful.

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Published by In mind and out

Inspired by: People, contradictions, flaws and quirks, softness, connectedness, all of life's perks. Moana, Whakawhanuanga, Aroha.. yes. Ugliness, beauty, shy arrogance. Rhymes and words, trauma and pain, playfulness, endings, beginnings, insane. Perfection = flawed