A song that keeps me awake

A middle of the night, insomniac reblog of the same song that still keeps me awake…

I replay you in my mind, over and over,.

Like the loved, beautiful song in my head, all night,

I cannot sleep with you on repeat.

I close my eyes, and wait for the inevitable chorus of you;

The echoes of your lavish touch,

The way our silences created this beautiful harmony.

The lyrics that hinted at some impossible understanding of my soul

The time you me gave me a blanket because I couldn’t leave

And then kissed me while I closed my eyes and opened my heart.

Next comes the minor key change

The harmony scales tipped dangerously,

The forlorn soft sad lyrics of coulds and shoulds,

The inventory of fundamental failings.

I lie here, my eyes wide open,

This insomniac song on repeat.

I long for the closed eyes kiss to let me go.

68 thoughts on “A song that keeps me awake

  1. I just heard on JJJ tracks from the Hoods’ eighth studio album. Can’t remember the title of one song but it was about the love for the little daughters whose company they missed while they were on the road touring. It was a lovely song. Illy contributed vocals.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have not heard any of the tracks from their new album yet, other than ‘leave me lonely’ – definitely not about missing their children, but great, and very poetic lyrics nonetheless!! Can’t wait to hear the new album, will look out for the song you’re referring to!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Exactly what I’m doing right now…replaying his wordless song in my mind and wondering if it could have turned out differently. Insomnia and too much sleep. My constant companions at least for a while. I am loving your poetry and posts and I have a feeling I will be able to relate well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh Melissa, it is a particularly persistent ear worm isn’t it. If only there were noise cancelling headphones specifically for this type of music that keeps us awake and hurts our hearts. Thank you for such a kind comment. I hope your sleep returns to normal soon.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Current, as in on at this moment, “lovely” (with Khalid), breezeblocks, alt J… there is also one on this same playlist called Black by dangermouse which features Norah Jones. She has a beautiful voice.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! So beautifully penned, Rachel!! Loved the many layers in this – wistful, yearning, heartache!! You are so talented with the way you weave the feelings into the words!! Such a delight to read!!! Bellissimo, My Dear, Bellissimo!
    xo
    Chuck

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very good at feeling things!! You are so right! I love music. Fiddle around on keyboards. Have written a couple of songs and a few more lyrics! And, How about You Rachel? Might you be musically inclined to perform from time to time? Maybe singing too? It’s hard to imagine someone who is a poetess with your voice not singing?? I have written a number of pieces on music you might like!! I would dearly love to know/read your poems/pieces on music, if you would care to share a link!! I would love that. My Cousin was a professional pianist. I wrote my poem – An Improvised Life about her after she passed a couple of years ago!! Looking forward to reading those musical pieces of yours??? Please?
        Chuck
        xoxo 😊💕🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Chuck, yes, I used to play the piano. In fact, the loss of the ability to do that was what fueled me to start writing poetry – a different kind of creative outlet. I have written a couple of poems about it. One of them is this one:

        https://inmindandout.home.blog/2019/05/20/a-lament-for-my-lost-instrument/

        As for singing – sure, as long as no-one can hear me 😂. But thank you for the kind compliment. Hope you’re having a nice weekend xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I cannot imagine the pain of your loss from not playing the piano! I hope, perhaps, if you wish to, you might share that with me! I am so happy you were able to find poetry and master it so well! Would love to have the other link to your musical piece?
        Ha, You crack me up, Rachel!! You sound like me, I sing where no one can hear me too. Like in the car! LOL Something we share!! Ha!
        Hope you are having a wonderful weekend too – writing, enjoying your loves and passions!! Please be safe and well, My Dear!!
        Chuck
        xoxo
        😘🌹🌹😁

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oh my, You have the most tender heart and Sweet soul, Rachel, to think of me and worry about me being cold during my stay!! I have no doubt at all that you are so dearly Beloved by all who know you! We are all blessed being your follower and friend!! Your thoughtfulness and kindness is a beautiful window into your soul, Rachel!!!

        Ha! Well, you may or may not appreciate my encouragement over time about your vocal recitation!!
        I promise you, Dear I will attempt not to be a nag about it, but i have to tell you that you are like
        the most beautiful butterfly that does not know how beautiful she is because she cannot look and see her beauty but others can, We can, so I hope you will believe me as one of the We! That your recitations are wonderful.

        They are exactly as you have said, it is more natural and flowing when read out loud. It’s not quite the same when I read it out loud to myself. And yes, you are right – lyricality is a word – I looked it up just so you would be sure – (Noun 1. lyricality – the property of being suitable for singing
        Synonyms: lyricism, songfulness) Nothing at all, like being able to close my eyes and imagining watching you recite your words! Mmmm. I do hope you will become more comfortable with the process and the result!!! Then I can tempt, tease and Dare You to try a Video recording! Ha! I can hear you and see you now, saying “NO WAY, and shaking your head no” LOL!! Never say never, Dear!! ha! You are wrong about your recitations! People love them, we love getting that personal feeling that you get at a poetry reading. It’s the way readers and friend get to know you better!. I would really appreciate you reading this???? Please? Make it an audio repost! Blame it on me I don’t care. I have broad shoulders!! Can I tempt you with chocolate or flowers? What are your favorites?

        I’m going to be a cheerleader for your work and especially for your recorded readings!!! I will not wear the outfit though – no way!!
        You are so fun to talk with, Rachel!!
        Chuck
        xoxo
        😘🌹🌹😁

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Ok, how about this, you wear the cheerleading outfit and I’ll do the video recording 😂😂😂. I think both are about equally as likely (you were quite right to imagine I’d say NO WAY).

        Thank you for making me laugh, and for your encouragement. I am genuinely surprised and humbled you like the audio recordings so much!
        xo

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Hmm, That was an interesting deal? Ok, so how about you record audio with photos on a slideshow in the background screen? That would be easier and no stress and no Chuck in an outfit?

        Common on don’t shake your head No like that? Be adventurous! We’ll keep working on something! LOL! Weird how I can predict your reaction isn’t it! Ha, ha!

        I am so pleased I can make you laugh and smile, Rachel!! Makes me happy to know!! My encouragement and support are a given – always there “cheering” you on! Why are you so
        surprised at my loving your audio recordings?? You do them so well and I love that I can
        close my eyes and listen it’s like sitting for coffee with you across the table reading! Just
        like you do for friends when you share your newest work. I like not having to read it and the
        personal touch that brings it more to life!! I’m sure this is not just me, Rachel or other people
        would not record their work. Think of this as icing on the cake that your poem is for us.
        Just a tender, sweet gesture from you that makes it even a sweeter experience. I hope
        this makes it easier to understand why it is so wonderful to hear your voice reciting the
        words that came into your heart and that you wrote for us and the world.
        Chuck
        xoxo
        😘💕🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Hey! No outfit? No deal 😂.

        Chuck, I thought I’d respond here as I was on WP just as I saw this notification come through. I will respond to your other messages soon. I wanted to say that your kindness has made me smile many times these last few days. That is a very generous gift you gave given me. Thank you xoxo

        Like

  4. Oh My, Rachel!! I have deeply fallen in love with this poem!! I went back and reread it for the third time today – out loud and wished it had been your voice (hey, could you recite this one for all your Adoring Fans??) I loved your ending so much but especially these lines:
    I close my eyes, and wait for the inevitable chorus of you;

    The echoes of your lavish touch,

    The way our silences created this beautiful harmony.

    The lyrics that hinted at some impossible understanding of my soul

    The time you me gave me a blanket because I couldn’t leave

    And then kissed me while I closed my eyes and opened my heart.
    Bellissimo, Rachel, Bellissimo!! Mmm, Mmm, Mmm!!
    Chuck
    xoxo 😊💕🌹
    there is and extra me in this line
    The time you me gave me a blanket because I couldn’t leave FYI

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very happy to give you a blanket dear Chuck. I would not want you to feel the cold during your stay.

      I really appreciate your encouragement of my spoken poetry. It’s not something I’m terribly confident about nor would think most people would be bothered to head. I’m also so flattered you read this aloud. The thing I like about spoken poetry is being able to give more of a sense of the flow and lyricality (if that’s even a word) of the piece. Maybe I could read this one aloud, I don’t know.

      Appreciate this so much xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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